Get a box of tissues ready. It came back.
When I start to get pain in different areas of my body, it is pretty much a sure sign that it has spread, again. Since I don't have an actual tumor anymore it is harder for my doctor to track the intruders. In order for my doctor to see where the 'hot spots' in my bones are, I have to get pet scans. This time around I also think I got an MRI, but since I am a total slacker cancer patient and can't remember ANYTHING (cancer card accepted here), I obviously can't remember, but a funny story nonetheless.
So let's schedule an MRI to see if the cancer in my upper back isn't pinching/attacking any nerves. Remember NO metal, take out all piercings. I didn't tell them I am claustrophobic, because I think I'm cool, it will be a breeze. The nurse comes in while I am waiting and goes over my chart. Out of her mouth comes, "You are too young and pretty to have cancer!" Yeah, no shit lady! Thanks!
Lucky for me, this MRI comes with an injection, yay!, more radioactive crap in my body! No shit, I was in the MRI machine for 2 HOURS. In case you didn't know, MRIs are HORRIFYING. They give you earplugs to block out the sound(and by sound I mean, painfully loud unpredictable banging), yeah....NO, that doesn't work. And I get a little emergency button to push in case I have a nervous breakdown while in the machine. Think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts, think happy thoughts. So about an excrutiating hour in, I have to pee, the machine picks up metal on my body, and I need to get the contrast injection. The technician comes in to ask me where the metal is, I don't know, it was on my sports bra, sorry. Well, now I've pissed him off. Wait until I tell him I have to pee! So I tell him I have to pee, he gets all bent out of shape because it's going to mess up the pictures.....well buddy, I have cancer remember! So *F* your pictures asshole!
Another fun test to get is a pet scan. This one is only about 20 minutes. You get injected with radioactive material as well for this one, this can't be good for your body. Before the test you have to drink 2 giant-sized (I may be exaggerating a little) containers of barium sulfate. Let's see.....how does one describe barium sulfate? Pick a flavor: gross, gross or grosser! I mean banana, berry or the newest flavor, vanilla! This substance is like nothing you have ever experienced before. It is thick, chalky goop. You can try putting it in the fridge and drink it with a straw, but you will gag no matter what. The best part is, there is a time limit! You have to drink one bottle in an hour and then 1/2 of the second bottle before the scan and 1/2 after the scan. The technicians like to make you feel as uncomfortable as possible by staring at you while drinking it. No pressure! And you wonder why I can't eat bananas anymore.........
The scans show that the cancer spread to my left hip, sternum, upper back and probably other places (slacker cancer patient can't remember).
Hope you are enjoying your summer so far because you are about to start chemotherapy.
