There's no crying in cancer.

We know that I do not cry. Well, let me rephrase that; I don't cry about cancer. Except maybe twice. Like a real cry.  I do get the sniffles every now and then.  Now, put an episode of "Friday Night Lights" on, and I'll cry at least 5 times before it's over. Don't judge. Amazing show. Oh, Tim Riggins.......  Show an ASPCA commercial and I melt, well everybody does, as everybody should, and if you don't, check yourself.

You can throw anything cancer related at me and I won't cry.

• Telling someone I have cancer for the first time. I won't cry.
• Revealing my whole 'cancer story'. I won't cry. It's actual quite comical. I usually laugh.
• Being told I have to go on chemo, again, again and again. I won't cry.
• Getting a port. I won't cry.
• Getting pet scan results back with new spots of activity. I won't cry.

But I will cry when I feel miserable for more than a day. Like I have felt for the past 3 days. My body aches, my head throbs, I feel fatigued.  Blaaaaaahhhhhh!  My hemoglobin must be really low.  Maybe I'll go walk on the treadmill.
When I feel like this, it is extremely overwhelming to even think about the next day or to make plans for the next week.  Well, thinking about the future on a daily basis is absolutely terrifying, which is why I don't do it.  So why would I want to do it when I feel so tragic? That was dramatic.

So let's cry about it. Or not.