I feel like I have been away from the blogging world for so long. I wish I could say that I was on a relaxing tropical vacation, but I was just busy reading other blogs, like 'Kanye with White People' and oh yeah, having cancer.
Since I last blogged, I think the bad days have outweighed the good days. But nothing has outnumbered the 'Law and Order SVU' episodes.
Bottom line is, I am totally over having cancer. I say that all the time, but I really am totally over it!! I never cry about having cancer, but now, I cry all the time! My roommate asks, 'How are you doing this morning?' My response; like a blubbering idiot, 'I don't know how I am doing.' My doctor asks, 'How are you?' My response; like a blubbering idiot...well, no response, I'm crying too hard to talk. Right now, I am watching TV and just saw a commercial with children swinging on those old school wooden swings. My response; I am now crying like a blubbering idiot. This is just getting ridiculous.
I went for a second opinion to see if I could climb my way out of this cancerous shithole I've been stuck in. Minus the actual appointment, it was a day from hell. A nurse gave me the brilliant idea of taking an anti-nausea pill before I take any pain killers. It worked. Once. And it didn't work the day I had the second opinion appointment. My reaction to pain killers is almost exactly the same as having a really bad hangover. But greasy food or Wawa won't cure this hangover. So here I am driving into the city with my parents, in the pouring rain, not showered, already threw up twice, glasses on, did I put on deoderant?, I don't even know, to see a brilliant doctor who will, without a doubt, cure me. Well, one look at me and she might turn me away!
The second opinion doctor I am seeing is, Marisa Acocella Marchetto's doctor, this girl right here: http://marisamarchetto.com/
This is so exciting! She is a brilliant cancer survivor AND was a student of my father's. How cool is that?!? So this doctor must be gold.
And she is. She was surprised at how bad I looked from the morphine but thought I looked great based on the conversation she had with my kickass doctor. Well, thank you! Should I ask her out on a date??
So my parents and I immediately loved her. I felt very comfortable with her. She was a tell it like it is, take crap from no one, sarcastic kind of woman. My kind of girl. So she went through my history and my whole rap sheet of treatments. I have a rap sheet? It's not a true rap sheet (record of arrest and prosecution) but it felt like it and was impressive. Not in a good way. It will make you cry if you hear someone read it. I did. Naturally.
So the appointment was great. She wrote down the 16 things we discussed. 16. We covered a lot. So I will take these 16 things to my doctor and decide what to do next.
Oh and yes, I am pretty sure I shaved my head for no reason. Abraxane causes the most hair loss but was not successful this time because it increased my tumor markers, circulating tumor cells and I have severe pain. I only had one cycle of it. So I guess I will never know. But I did shave it for the first time myself and I was damn good at it.
